Domestic violence : A danger for the cohesion of households

United to build, however, the spouses often engage in disputes which, in exchange for blows, can generate. What can be the basis of fights in homes ? 

Firmin KASSAGA

“Life as a couple is one of the most difficult things”, confides Nathalie, thirties. For this lady in a relationship, quarrels are the destructive weapon of a home. She justifies herself by asserting, “if you are a young couple, you are confronted, due to lack of experience, many difficulties. Arguments can quickly escalate. These problems are often due to misunderstandings which often do not need noise. But you just need to base your relationship on patience and above all dialogue to avoid falling into this trap”.

We often focus on the fighting aspect while, nuance Nathalie, domestic violence is also moral and not just physical. Éric goes in the same direction as her and finds that “many people think that domestic violence is only the blows carried out by one on the other. Insults in the home also constitute violence since they act on the moral integrity of the other”.

 What are the reasons that can push two people who have decided to get together for a purpose to violence? ?

To this question, Nathalie finds that several reasons can lead two spouses to violence “but the most frequent and for me, the most commonplace are impatience and incomprehension”. Bernice T., the fifties, confides “that in addition to the lack of patience and incomprehension, there is the basic education of both spouses and the desire of one to dominate the other”. She goes further by adding “When we rush into a relationship without taking care to learn to live with another person, we don't know how to control ourselves and at the slightest argument, it's insults and since there is no smoke without fire, these kinds of reactions result in physical blows.” She confides in saying that in thirty years as a couple, she was never beaten or she beat her husband who, for her, is “the type of man” who respects women.

Christelle, the twenteeth, is a young woman, she had to leave her partner because of the arguments that were frequent within the couple and especially the violence she suffered. “He is too jealous and wants to be an undivided master. Even when he's not right, he always finds arguments to blame me”, she laments.

“Domestic violence, which are practices prohibited in all societies, are often due to small misunderstandings which, can be resolved if communication between spouses occupies the best place in the home”, says Gaston, the septuagenarian. “Maturity is an important asset but patience and understanding are two very useful elements in life together”,  he emphasizes.